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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415215">The 'Death' of Emily Prentiss</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EideticPrettyBoySpence/pseuds/EideticPrettyBoySpence'>EideticPrettyBoySpence</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:27:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EideticPrettyBoySpence/pseuds/EideticPrettyBoySpence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I help Spencer deal with the death of Emily and his guilt that he never got to say goodbye to her. I'm there for him when he wants to relapse on Dilaudid. When he finally opens up to Derek about what Tobias did to him. I'm as betrayed as he is when he finds out that the team lied to us about Emily being dead. And the team celebrates Spencer's thirtieth birthday.</p><p>The events in this story come from 6x18-20</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The 'Death' of Emily Prentiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months after we saved Sammy Sparks' mom, Emily tells us about a man from her past. Apparently, Ian Doyle was stalking her old team from Interpol. She didn't want to get us involved until she had to, because it would make us all targets. But eventually she doesn't have a choice when he shows up in DC. Emily talked to Derek and gave him a list of names. </p><p>"I got four names on the bottom of the list Prentiss gave us," Derek says. "Luke Renault, Lawrence Riley, Lila Rafferty, Lyle Rogers."</p><p>"All names with the initials L.R.," I say.</p><p>"The CIA uses cryptograms like that to assign to non-official cover agents working the same case. These last four names are covers-- spies."</p><p>"Wait. No. This isn't right," Penelope says, and I look over her shoulder.</p><p>"Do you see this space? That shouldn't be here," I add. </p><p>"Could it be a formatting error?" Spencer asks.</p><p>"No, this is a spreadsheet template. Formatting doesn't allow for this. There's a missing name on here."</p><p>"It's another spy whose cover is L.R.," Hotch says.</p><p>"Lauren Reynolds is dead," Spencer whispers. </p><p>"What?" Hotch asks.</p><p>"'Lauren Reynolds is dead. Prentiss said that on a phone call seventeen days ago. But her intonation wasn't surprise or grief. It was like a mantra, like she was reminding herself. Lauren Reynolds. L.R."

"If Prentiss is the last name on that list, she's on Doyle's list, too," I say softly. 

"That explains her behavior the past month," Rossi replies. "The secrets. The evasion."

"She's been biting her fingernails again, too," Spencer says.

"Guys," Hotch says.

"She left her badge and gun?" Derek says. "Why would she do that?"

"That doesn't make sense. Why run? We're her family. We can help," Spencer says quickly.

"Doyle's killing families. She's not married, not close to relatives," I say softly. "He was ready to wipe us out. She ran to protect us."

"She's a trained spy," Rossi replies. "She doesn't want to be found."

"She knows all of our tricks," Derek says. "We don't know any of hers."

"All right, then how do we find her?" Penelope asks.

"Here's how. Ian Doyle is our unsub, Prentiss is our victim. We profile their behavior and we treat it like any other case," Hotch says. "Because terrorism isn't an area we specialize in, I've reached out to an expert from the State Department, someone who can also shed light on Prentiss' past."

"Who?" Spencer asks.

"Her."

We all turn toward the door and JJ walks into the bullpen. We all stare in shock at her for a moment before she speaks.

"Let's get to work. Okay, so I talked to a friend from Langley. He couldn't give me Emily's full CIA history, but he could give me this," she pulls a file up on the screen, but most of it was redacted. "She assumed the identity of Lauren Reynolds as part of a special task force called JTF-12."

"I've heard about them," Rossi says. "They were profiling terrorists, weren't they?"

"Yeah, assembled after 9/11. CIA and western agencies contributed their best and brightest."

"But serial killers and terrorists have different personality traits," I say softly.

"How does Doyle fit in?" Spencer asks.

"He was their last case. And now the JTF is on his hit list. Jeremy Wolff was victim number one, from Germany's BND. Sean McAlister at Interpol was the second," JJ says. "He's the one that brought the JTF in to work the Doyle case. He was murdered last week in Brussels with his wife and daughter. Tsia Mosely of France's DCRI. She got engaged to Jeremy earlier this year. After he died, she fled to D.C. And team leader Clyde Easter, British S.I.S. He hasn't checked in since Tsia's murder. He was also in D.C."

"Did JTF make the arrests?" Hotch asks.

"No, the host countries handled that. The team moved on to the next case."

"If all they did was deliver a profile, how does Doyle even know about them?"

"Well, considering the shadowy nature of terrorist cells, they utilize a skill we don't-- infiltration."

"Who was undercover on Doyle?" Spencer asks. 

"Emily. She made contact with him in Boston to get intel on Valhalla. She was posing as another weapons dealer."

"Look at how she's dressed," Derek says. "She seems awfully comfortable."

"How close did she get to Doyle as part of her cover?" Hotch asks.

"The recon they did on Doyle included a background of all his romantic relationships. Emily was his type," JJ replies.

I go to the batcave to help Penelope track Clyde, and fifteen minutes later we get a hit. We head to the bullpen to tell the team.

"Hotch, TSA got a hit on one of Clyde Easter's covers," I say. "He's on a plane to Boston as we speak."

"Have him detained as soon as he steps off. We need to go. Garcia, Johnson, you're coming with us."

"Okay, yes," Penelope follows me out.

Twenty minutes later we're on the jet on the way to Boston. After a while, Penelope gets a video file from Boston PD. She watches it and screams after a while. Once it's over, she turns the laptop and rewinds it to show us.

"Emily walked into a trap. It looks like Doyle got into the SUV, but from this angle, you can see that he didn't. Which I wish Boston PD would have told me before I started watching it. Sorry again for the screaming."

"She threw a flash-bang grenade into a car. She's lucky the three people inside didn't die. Is anybody else bothered by that?"

"Well, three bad guys," Rossi replies.

"Illegal as it is, I think Prentiss knows she needs to be as ruthless as Doyle."

"He's come to the U.S. to wage a public vendetta and hired a group of mercenaries to remain loyal to him," Spencer says. I take his hand and he squeezes it gently as he continues. "He has nothing to lose, so she has to act the same way."

"So how did Doyle know she was waiting for him?" Rossi asks.

"Well the mole must have told him, right?" JJ says. "The same guy who's been feeding Doyle the contractors and agents?"

"And our best suspect was just arrested with a suitcase full of cash," I say. "How do we get Easter to talk? He won't cooperate willingly."

"I'll handle that," Hotch says. "The rest of you focus on Doyle's location."

"I hate to be the one to ask this," Penelope says. "But how long does Emily have?"

"Her best chance is also the most troubling. Doyle saved her for last because he views her as his stressor. Which means he'll take his time."

Not long after we arrive at Boston P.D., Rossi leaves with a cop, and returns with a man. He lets the cop take him and walks over to us.

"Who's that?" Hotch asks.

"Jack Fahey, Irish Mob. He called Easter's cell phone twelve times in six hours."

"Any connection to Doyle?"

"Boston P.D. says he's low level. But the Irish Mob has long-standing ties to the I.R.A."

"See if you can get anything out of him."

Hotch has Penelope and I dig through JTF's personal records again. We figure out that Clyde might not be the mole, and we call the team in to tell them what we found. We assemble an evidence board and a few minutes later the team walks in.

"So, assuming Clyde isn't the mole, we looked through the JTF's personal records again, and Jeremy made some fancy plans before his death. Specifically, he bought a large estate in Spain..." Penelope says.

"He signed all the documents with covers. Made a down payment in cash, deposited the rest," JJ interrupts.

"So Jeremy sold the list to Doyle," Hotch says.

"He was the first victim, killed quietly. Doyle didn't want any attention until he was ready. Did Tsia know?"

"I can't tell. If I were running from a terrorist, I would cash in my I.R.A." Penelope says. "Not that one. The other- you know what I mean. My point is, Tsia didn't touch that money, so I don't think she's in on it."

Hotch asks me to come to the main room of the P.D. and listen to Clyde. He wants every available hand with weapons clearance to listen to the profile so they can find Emily. I follow him back to the rest of the team, standing next to Spencer. 

"Ian Doyle's a power-assertive psychopath, highly controlling and very explosive when something doesn't go as planned."

"Okay, so how does this fit in with who he is as a family annihilator?" I ask.

"And Prentiss' role in it," Rossi adds.

"Annihilators have a romanticized view of who their family is," Spencer says. My hand goes instinctively to my stomach.

"Well, actually, he was an orphan," Clyde says. 

"Well, they think of family as their possession until some law shatters that and starts them killing," Derek says.

"But Doyle was never married."

"Children?" Rossi asks.

"No."

"You wrote in your profile that he carried out his murders with surgical-like precision," Spencer says.

"Yes."

"With no collateral damage," Derek says.

"That's right."

"Perhaps this child was a surrogate for one he had," Rossi says. 

"Say Doyle had a child and you didn't know about it," I say. "Is it possible that Prentiss did?"

"Then why would she keep it from me?" Clyde asks.

"Who else was in the compound the day that you arrested Doyle?" Hotch asks.

"Just his staff."

"All Irish?"

"Yeah."

"That's a start."

Penelope and I open our laptops and start trying to track down Doyle's secret child. After a while Penelope speaks up excitedly.

"I got him! I matched Irish immigration records based on Doyle's employees. Declan Jones, he's the only boy who matches. He settled in Boston eight years ago, adoptive guardian Louise Jones."

"I knew Louise Jones. She was Doyle's housekeeper," Clyde says.

"Are they still alive?" Hotch asks.

"Declan and his mother went missing seven years ago. Bodies were never found," I say. "Wait, what is this? Uh... god, someone took pictures of them being shot."

"Is there an address?"

"That looks like a warehouse. It's gotta be big enough to house a small army. That's weapons, supplies. Let's see- which means it has its own perimeter. I got it, 1518 Adams Street."

We continue to dig up dirt on Declan and Doyle while also tracking Emily. Spencer looks over my shoulder as I track security cam footage looking for her, then he tells me to stop for a minute. He points at one of the pictures on the screen.

"Morgan, come look at this."

"It's black clothing and a hand, Reid," Derek says.

"No, look at the fingernails."

I look at the picture closer, and gasp when I realize. The hand has chewed fingernails.

"Oh, my god!" I say.

After that things move really quickly. Everyone gets their bulletproof vests on. Then Hotch gathers everyone to debrief.

"Agent Prentiss is the only friendly in the building. Rescuing her is our primary objective."

"Our only advantage here is stealth," Derek says. "Once they know we're on site, there's nothing to stop him from killing her. So we keep it quiet until we get to her."

No more than ten minutes later we're in the SUV's and speeding to Emily's location. We have silencers on our guns, as well as on the SWAT teams' rifles. When we get to the warehouse we storm the building, shooting anyone who tries to shoot us. Finally we make it to the room where the fuse box is and Hotch tells one of the SWAT team to cut the power. Then we continue deeper into the building. Finally Derek and I walk into a room on the south side of the basement. We see Emily with her hands bound, and it looks like she'd been tossed around. But the most alarming thing is that she's got a sharp piece of wood sticking out of her stomach.

"I got her! I got her in the basement on the south side. I need a medic," Derek shouts into his com device. "Prentiss."

"Derek..."

"Hey, it's me, I'm right here. You're gonna be alright. Johnson's here, too."

"Emily, just hold on. Medic's on the way. Don't close your eyes."

"Stay with me, baby," Derek says. "Come on, stay with me."

"Let me go," Emily says.

"No, no. I am not letting you go. Help me! Listen to me, I know why you did all of this. I know what you did for Declan. I'm so proud of you. Do you understand that? I am proud of you because you are my friend, and you are my partner. No, Emily! Come on, stay with me. If you can hear me, please just squeeze my hand. Yes, there you go. There you go, baby. Just keep squeezing."

Finally the medics arrive and rush Emily out of the building and to the hospital. We speed along behind the ambulance and into the hospital, and I sprint into Spencer's arms as soon as I see him. I bury my face in his neck as I cry, my worry for Emily consuming me. It seems like forever before someone else walks into the room. My heart drops into my stomach at JJ's expression, and Spencer's arms tighten slightly around my waist. Penelope is the first person to break the silence.

"No."

"She never made it off the table."

Spencer stands up so fast I barely catch my balance as my feet hit the floor. He pulls his hand out of mine as I try to catch it, and strides quickly out of the room. His pain completely destroys me, but what's even worse is I can't do anything to make it better. Because I can't bring Emily back. I can't make it so he gets to say goodbye.

"Spence."

"I didn't get a chance to say goodbye," his voice comes out broken and small. 

"Come here," JJ wraps her best friend in a hug.

It only takes a few days to plan Emily's funeral. I pick out my nicest black dress and the necklace Spence gave me for Christmas. There's nothing I can say to make this better, so I don't say anything. I just wrap him in a hug as silent tears run down my face. His body is wracked with silent sobs, and I run my fingers through his hair as I hold him. Then it's time to leave for the funeral. Spencer keeps a death grip on my hand the whole ride to the cemetery, and as he walks to the gravesite, holding the right front handle of the casket. Someone lays a large white bouquet on the casket and there's a short service. All I can think is that Emily would have hated it, the whole entire thing. After the pastor is done speaking, we all lay a single solitary red rose on top of the casket.

After the funeral, Spencer stands at her grave for a while. Finally we head back home, and Spencer walks toward his couch. He sinks down on it slowly, and I sit next to him. He lays his head in my lap and wraps an arm around me. His shoulders shake with sobs, and I rub circles on his back. After a while his sobs quiet, and his breathing evens out. I let him sleep, and lean my head back against the couch. It's not long before the emotional toll of the past few days has me falling asleep. I wake up in the morning with a crick in my neck, and smell coffee. I walk into the kitchen to see my boyfriend already dressed, drinking coffee and eating a doughnut.

"Hey, Spence."

"Hey. We've got a case."

"You don't have to go, Spencer. I'm sure Hotch would understand. Why don't we take a few days?"

"No, I don't want to do that, I need to work. If I'm not working all I'll do is dwell on it. If I'm working it'll distract me."

"Okay, if you're sure," I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit next to him, squeezing his hand softly. "I'm here, okay? If you need to talk."

"I know, little girl. I know you are. I appreciate that. Let's head out."

When we get to the round table room, I sit next to Spencer and take his hand under the table. I rub my thumb across the back of his hand gently as we listen to the debriefing. I scroll through the crime scene photos on my tablet and Spencer flips through his paper file. After a few minutes Hotch and Rossi come in the room and look at Seaver, congratulating her on her graduation.

"Congratulations, Agent Seaver."

"Thank you."

"Who made the cupcakes?" Rossi asks.

"I did," Penelope says.

"Thank you all for coming to my graduation. It meant a lot."

"Let's get started," Hotch says.

"Okay, we're going to Portland, Oregon. And it's not for a Dead Moon concert. So, Jay Johnson, a DJ, was cutting through an alley on his way home after leaving a club when he was bludgeoned by a pipe and then stabbed thirty-one times. His watch, his cell, and his computer were stolen," Penelope says. "That was two days ago. Now, early this morning, Karen Heywood, a thirty one year old nurse, she died during a home invasion. She was stabbed forty times, but first she was bludgeoned with weapons of opportunity."

"Eight different ones, to be exact," Derek says.

"That's too many weapons for one person," Rossi adds

"There was a left-handed and right-handed killer according to the M.E. report," I say.

"Yeah but eight different weapons."

"So we're looking for a group," Morgan says.

"Yeah, seems that way. And the left-handed wounds were deeper than the right."

"Maybe a woman was involved?" Spencer says.

"Or a weak man?" Seaver says.

"Anything taken from the house?" Hotch asks.

"According to a neighbor, just some random stuff- a computer, some jewelry, a framed picture of a lily," Penelope says.

"All pawnable items. What do we have, serial-killing crooks?" Derek asks.

"Sounds like a musical," Rossi says.

"Similar victimology- young professionals killed three miles apart," Hotch says.

"Is there a gang situation in Portland?" Seaver asks.

"Minimal. This seems more like desperate people in need of quick cash," my boyfriend says.

"Why kill them if it's just for the money?"

"That's what we wanna know. And we've got eight hours til nightfall. Let's go."

When we board the jet, Spencer sits on the couch. I sit next to him and pull my legs up, curling against his side. I can see a soft smile spread across his face out of the corner of my eye. He wraps an arm around me and uses his other hand to hold his file. After looking at it for a while he pulls out a paper map of Portland and starts working on a geographical profile. I watch him work as we discuss some of the other details of the case. I love how focussed he gets on his work, his tongue poking out to lick his lips occasionally.

"So both victims around the same age and killed at night," Hotch says. 

"One in an alley on the way to his car, one in her home after coming from the grocery store after work," Rossi says.

"There's extreme overkill in both," Derek says.

"Overkill usually implies a personal relationship," I say.

"Or it could mean that the victim represents someone for whom the killer has extreme anger," Hotch says.

"These unsubs are night owls, stalking and killing other night owls," Rossi says.

"And they're also disorganized. In one they subdued their victims by hitting them with a pipe found at the scene, and in the other they used a knife, followed by seven other items found in the kitchen," Spencer says.</p><p>"A doorstop, even a ceramic cat. All of this just to steal?" Seaver asks.</p><p>"When a gang mentality sets in, unsubs become more capable of heinous acts," Rossi says.</p><p>"It's still odd. The incidence of robbery is so low in this area," I say.</p><p>"That's why I started working a geographical profile. First thing's first, I factored in journey to crime distance," Spencer says. "If you look here, you'll see that this area of Portland is well within the expected five-mile radius. I also factored in distance of decay."</p><p>"What does distance have to do with decay?" Seaver asks.</p><p>"It's how geo-profilers measure relative probability of an offender travelling outside his comfort zone," Rossi says.</p><p>"Unsubs prefer to stay in an area that they know well," Hotch says.</p><p>"Like you'd commute to work or to the gym," Derek adds.</p><p>"The closer the crime scenes, the greater likelihood it is that the unsub lives or works nearby," Hotch says.</p><p>"Based on my algorithm, the unsubs either live or work in this area," Spencer shows the team the map with overlapping circles.</p><p>Once we touch down in Portland we split into groups. Hotch and Rossi go to one crime scene, Seaver, Spencer and I go to the other. Derek goes to the grocery store. When we get to the alley we walk through the crime. I put myself between Seaver and my boyfriend. But I'm acutely aware of the flirting looks she sends him. She would probably touch his arm if I wasn't between them.</p><p>"So Mr. Johnson exits the club through the back door to get to his car," Spencer says.</p><p>"Maybe one unsub can watch from over there and the other from back there," I say as I gesture to either end of the alley.</p><p>"Then when he gets here, another unsub hits him with a pipe and it's game on."</p><p>"Look at the vials, Spence. This is a drug corridor."</p><p>"That would explain why there's so much overkill. Maybe they were on something."</p><p>"On the jet I did some research into the club. A year ago, someone OD'd inside," Seaver says. "Since then, new management's clamped down on partying."</p><p>"Which means the unsubs most likely fit in to this area," Spencer says.</p><p>"Well, if you can't party inside, then you come out here," I say. "They're probably all the same age."</p><p>"Yeah, mid-twenties."</p><p>After a while Hotch calls us on conference call with the rest of the team. He tells us to meet at the police station, we're ready to deliver the profile. Seaver gets behind the wheel and drives back to the station, with Spencer in the backseat next to me. When we get to the station, we gather the whole police force to hear the profile. Hotch starts us off and begins the description of the unsub.</p><p>"We believe our unsub is a white male paranoid schizophrenic who suffers from hallucinations. Since schizophrenic breaks usually occur in your early twenties, we believe he's around this age and that he lives nearby. We think this unsub is hypervigilant, and in this condition he's unable to travel very far from his home."</p><p>"He kills at night and is extremely violent. During the day, he's most likely a loner," Rossi continues. "In this condition, he probably can't keep a job. We believe something happened to our unsub in his childhood. Childhood voices are telling him to kill, or he's misinterpreting them as doing so."</p><p>While Rossi is speaking, I notice Spencer seems agitated, his ticks more frequent. I whisper softly to him and he assures me he's fine. I put my hand on his knee as we continue. I'm the next to speak, adding another piece to the profile.</p><p>"Our unsub has probably been coping until now, but a recent stressor brought him back to that childhood incident and is causing him to act out."</p><p>"Our unsub spends his days wandering, trying to fight the desire to kill, yet he feels trapped by his hallucinations. No matter what he does or tries to do, the hallucination's power is greater than his own," Derek continues. "Because of his limited social circle as a child, it is our belief that the incident involved close friends or family. Now, once we figure out what happened as a kid and the stressor that recently triggered a relapse, we'll be that much closer to narrowing down the killer's identity. Reid."</p><p>"We need you all to start searching in this area," Spencer takes his map and hands it to an officer after a pause. "Based on previous kills, we know that he strikes at night and will not retreat until we find him."</p><p>After we finish delivering the profile and everyone disperses, Spencer rushes to the boy's bathroom. I don't really care if I get in trouble for going after him, I'm just worried about my boyfriend. Derek hurries after me and raises his eyebrow at me when I walk in. I ignore him for the most part, only raising an eyebrow at him in response. We see Spencer splashing water on his face at one of the sinks.</p><p>"You know, that profile kind of makes it sound like schizophrenia leads to serial killing."</p><p>"Sweetheart, you know that's not what we meant," I say, putting a hand on his arm.</p><p>"That's not what we said at all, Reid," Derek disagrees.</p><p>"You know, my mom has schizophrenia. There are many different types."</p><p>"I know," Derek and I say.</p><p>"Catatonic, disorganized... just because someone suffers from inability to organize their thoughts or they can't bathe or dress themselves, it doesn't mean they'd stab someone in the chest thirty times postmortem," he turns away from the mirror and leans against the sink.</p><p>"Baby, what's really going on?" I take his hand gently in mine, rubbing my thumb across the back of it. "Talk to us, are you alright?"</p><p>"Our unsub's hallucinations aren't fractured like a typical schizophrenic. They're vivid and clear, leading me to believe that we're missing an important variable. Rather than making crazy conjectures, I think we should be trying to figure out what it is."</p><p>"Spence, listen to me, I need you to hear me. I know this is a scary age for you. It's when schizophrenic breaks happen. Have you talked to anybody about this? Besides me, I mean professionally."</p><p>"No, just Emily."</p><p>"Have you seen a doctor?" Derek asks.</p><p>"They all say I'm fine," Spencer replies.</p><p>"Then why don't you believe them?"</p><p>"Because predicting one's chances of developing a genetic condition are like finding a penny in an ocean. I have terrible headaches, I can't sleep at night. I can't focus on our cases. I only read five books last week."</p><p>"Come on, kid, you gotta cut yourself some slack. You're also depressed about Prentiss, and I get it, we all are. Reid, I miss her every day. But if your mind was splitting, do you really think you'd be able to figure out that this team is missing a variable?"</p><p>"I'm just speculating that we are. I need to prove it."</p><p>"Okay, then how can I help you do that?" I ask, cupping his cheek.</p><p>"The moment you are wandering around the streets aimlessly, that's when I'll be concerned about you," Derek says. "Come on, Pretty Boy, let's get to work."</p><p>"Because of HIPAA law, I can't get information on twenty-something-year-olds who've had schizophrenic breaks."</p><p>"I know that, Penny, but what about police records. Maybe our unsub's been arrested before. Come on, this isn't the first time we've done this, get it together," I teased my best friend good-naturedly.</p><p>"You're right, I should have thought of that. I blame the nail polish fumes," I faintly hear her tying quickly. "Okay. Six kids have been locked up in the last month within a forty-mile radius."</p><p>"Any of them for theft?"</p><p>"Um... mugging, lewd behavior, car theft."</p><p>"Okay, send me half of them. We can go through personal information. Maybe they've had run-ins with the law when they were younger."</p><p>"All right, sweetness, on its way."</p><p>I take my laptop into the conference room to sit next to Spencer as the list comes through. I start a search to see if any of them have had run-ins with the law or been to juvie. Then its just a matter of waiting to see if any of the names on either list pop.</p><p>"You know, at the grocery store where Karen Heywood was shopping, the clerk said the unsub was buying water and a lot of salt," Spencer kisses my cheek softly as he finishes speaking.</p><p>"Saltwater could be used to torture his victims," Rossi says.</p><p>"Well, there's no evidence of that," Derek argues.</p><p>"It could also be used to remove victims' blood from clothing," I say.</p><p>"Think about this though, the visions that schizophrenics have can be interpreted as demons," Spencer says. "What do some people to do when they think they have demons inside of them?"</p><p>"They could get an exorcism," Derek answers.</p><p>"Holy water is used in exorcisms," Rossi says.</p><p>"What about the salt?" Seaver asks.</p><p>"Salt is used in exorcisms and various religious ceremonies," Spencer answers her question.</p><p>"What are you looking for?"</p><p>"The number of churches in the comfort zone. Three."</p><p>"All right, let's see if any of them keep their doors open late," Hotch says.</p><p>"I'm on it, Hotch," I pull up another search.</p><p>After I finish the search and realize that all three churches are open late, Hotch divides the team to talk to the pastors. I go to one of the churches with Derek and Spencer. The pastor tells us he'll be right with us and joins us a few minutes later. He listens as we identify ourselves and the reason we're here. He knows exactly who we're looking for but not his name.</p><p>"He came here in duress about... two hours ago."</p><p>"And what did he say?" Spencer links his hand in mine as he speaks.</p><p>"He said... he said voices were blaming him for a fire. And he needed me to get rid of them."</p><p>"That's what I thought. He thinks he's haunted."</p><p>"Did he ask you for an exorcism?" Derek asks.</p><p>"Yes. He claimed his mother had taken him to get one when he was young."</p><p>"And what did you tell him?" Spencer asks.</p><p>"I couldn't do it. Throughout history, people have confused possession with mental illness. Some still do. Nowadays, churches turn people like him over to medical professionals."</p><p>"I'm assuming he didn't take your rejection well."</p><p>"He was very angry."</p><p>"But he didn't attack you?" I ask. "He didn't threaten you in any way?"</p><p>"He's probably found help in the church before," Spencer says as the pastor shakes his head.</p><p>"Was there anything else in his behavior you found odd?"</p><p>"Like something he maybe said or did?"</p><p>"No. I told you everything. Oh, there is one thing. He had a stutter."</p><p>As we leave the church, Spencer keeps his hand in mine. Derek pulled out his phone and dialed Penelope and told her what we learned.</p><p>"All right, let me know what you find, Garcia," he says as he hangs up.</p><p>"Psychogenetic stuttering begins in the area of the brain that controls thoughts and reasoning," Spencer points out. "It's most commonly associated with mental illness."</p><p>"I checked with the supermarket guy and the lady at the building, but neither one of them heard stuttering."</p><p>"Which means it's either caused by the schizophrenia medication or maybe its situational."</p><p>"Well, the presence of it along with the fire information should help Garcia and Johnson narrow down their lists."</p><p>When we're on our way back to the station, Hotch calls and says he's sending Derek an address. Our unsub had struck again, and he wanted us to go to the crime scene. I punch the address into the GPS and we arrive a few minutes later. A detective walks us to the crime scene but stays outside the room. She does stick around in case we have any questions.</p><p>"This victim's a lot older than his other ones," Spencer says. "She must represent something to him."</p><p>"Maybe his mother who had him exorcised," Derek replies. "Now that he can't get one, he's taking his rage out on a surrogate."</p><p>"Did the EMTs try to save her?" my boyfriend asks.</p><p>"No, why?"</p><p>"There's a body imprint next to her."</p><p>"Why would the unsub lay down next to a person he's just killed?" I ask.</p><p>"He slept here." It only takes a moment before my boyfriend answers. "Look at the number of stab wounds."</p><p>"There's gotta be over fifty of them," Derek says. </p><p>"Seventy-one. Do you know how physically exhausting it would be to stab someone seventy-one times?" Spencer replies. "It's hard enough to stab someone ten times, but seventy-one-- they'd be completely worn out."</p><p>"He's accelerated wound counts, which means he does it intentionally," I take Spencer's hand.</p><p>"But why?" Colbern asks.</p><p>"Wait, that's it," Spencer says after a moment. "If you add the increased number of stab wounds and the fact that he slept here to the vivid hallucinations and the unexplainable onset of stuttering, you get the missing variable. This guy's an insomniac."</p><p>"Just as adrenaline makes a person love the feeling of killing, once it leaves the body it makes them tired," Derek says.</p><p>"He does this all to sleep?" Colbern asks.</p><p>"The insomnia is what makes the hallucinations so clear, and sleep is the only release he has from them," Spencer says quickly.</p><p>I call Penelope and tell her what we just learned so she can add parameters to her search and I do the same for mine. By the time we get back to the station she had already found something. My phone rings again just as we enter the station and find the rest of the team.</p><p>"Okay, here we go. I looked at that list of schizophrenics that have been recently arrested in that forty-mile radius. I cross-checked it with ones that have gone to local pharmacies to get schizophrenia medication like thorazine or prolixin."</p><p>"Any of them have prescriptions filled for sleeping medication as well?" I ask.</p><p>"Yes, one. Ben Foster, he has a prescription for thorazine and ambien."</p><p>"It's likely he uses the money from the stolen items to buy the pills," Seaver says.</p><p>"That's actually so sad," I say.</p><p>"What's his background, Baby Girl?"</p><p>"He moved to Portland three years ago. A month ago he was in an apartment fire, after which he got a sleeping pill medication because his insomnia began again," Penelope says. "Oh, my. When he was ten, he was questioned during an investigation about a fire that killed three people."</p><p>"It could be part of the homicidal triad," Rossi says.</p><p>"I'm looking at the police report right now. It turns out two months before, his mom had a local minister perform an exorcism on him, and the three people who were killed in the fire helped perform that exorcism."</p><p>"Was Ben charged?"</p><p>"No. He was acquitted in juvenile court."</p><p>"You got an address?" Hotch asks.</p><p>"Uh, 2627 Halden Way."</p><p>"You're a rockstar, Penny G," I say before I hang up.</p><p>We put on our bulletproof vests and head to the address Penny gave us. Once we get there we split into three groups to cover all possible exit points. Derek and Seaver go right, Hotch and Rossi enter through the front door. Spencer, Colbern, and I go around the back of the house to the left. I can't allow myself to get distracted at how good he looks in his vest, it could cost him his life if I do.</p><p>"He's out back!" Derek yells.</p><p>Seconds later we're pursuing Ben through the neighborhood. Spencer and I end up canvasing with Hotch. Derek is still with Seaver and Rossi is with Colbern. Everything is silent until Derek's voice comes over coms.</p><p>"Hotch, we lost him. We're gonna check the back alley."</p><p>Spencer, Hotch and I ask people we pass by if they had seen Ben. The other teams are of course doing the same. As we pass by a house a few blocks down, Spencer stops in his tracks for a minute. I follow his gaze just in time to see the curtains in one window shut.</p><p>"I think we've got something at 2218," Hotch says. </p><p>I squeeze Spencer's hand, knowing this is it. Ben is in the middle of a schizophrenic break. He'd already violently murdered people, and now he was cornered. This could go so bad so fast, and people could get hurt. Spencer could get hurt if she didn't have his back. We sneak around the back of the house and open the back door. We make our way silently into the living room. Moments later, Seaver and Derek come in through a different door and surround him on the other side.</p><p>"Drop the knife, Ben," Hotch says.</p><p>"Just shoot me," he says.</p><p>"Ben, we're not gonna shoot you, but we do need you to put down that knife, okay?" Spencer speaks calmly as he walks toward him. My heart stops as he puts his gun in its holster, but I trust him to know what he's doing. There's four other guns trained on Ben if things go south anyway, and we're all exceptional shots. "All right, where are the other people in this room, Ben?"</p><p>"Right there, you see him?" Ben points, and Spencer moves.</p><p>"Right here? We're they there for the exorcism?"</p><p>"Mm-hm. I didn't kill them, though. I didn't do it. I am not lying!"</p><p>"Ben, they're dead and they can't hurt you anymore," Hotch says.</p><p>"They can."</p><p>"No, Ben, Your mind is playing tricks on you," Derek says. "Once you get help, it'll all stop."</p><p>"Yes, you are. Yeah, okay. All right, I killed you. I set the fire."</p><p>"Ben, listen to us. It's okay," I say softly as I step up next to Spencer, holstering my weapon.</p><p>"We're gonna get you a doctor's help," Derek says. "I promise you that."</p><p>"No. The- the only way that you can help me is if you do it- if you kill me."</p><p>"Ben, that's not true," Spencer takes a step toward him. "Listen, the only way we can help you is if you put that knife down."</p><p>"Are you sure that'll work?"</p><p>"Oh, I'm absolutely sure. Put that knife down, okay."</p><p>"Okay. It's okay. Go on," the kids run out of the house.</p><p>Ben rushes toward Spencer with the knife and I don't hesitate. I fire a non-lethal shot before he can stab my boyfriend.</p><p>"We need an ambulance," Spencer says into his coms device.</p><p>I holster my gun with a shaky hand- that was the first time I had ever shot someone. I didn't have a choice and I would do it again in a heartbeat, though. I'd fire a lethal shot if that was the only way I could protect Spencer. After the ambulance comes I run into his arms, trembling as my adrenaline rush wears off. I thought I would have been too late, that Ben would stab Spencer before I could even get a shot off. My boyfriend's arms come around me automatically and a small sob escapes. Spencer's long fingers run through my hair as he shushes me, and I cling to him tighter. He whispers softly in my ear so the paramedics don't hear him.</p><p>"Hey, little girl, it's alright. I'm okay, he didn't hurt me. There were four guns on him, he wouldn't have gotten to me."</p><p>"You're okay? Really?" I ask even though I know the answer.</p><p>"I promise, I'm fine."</p><p>After a while we walk back to the SUVs and drive back to the airport. I had fallen asleep on Spencer's shoulder, and when I woke up we were on the jet on the way back home. I was in Spencer's lap as he sits on the couch reading a book. I glanced over to see that it was a Sherlock Holmes book that he had read a million times. I loved that even though he had an eidetic memory, he still reread books just because he loved them. He was so into the book that he didn't even realize I was awake until he was finished.</p><p>"Hey, Spence."</p><p>"Hey, little girl, you should be asleep. It's really late."</p><p>"I know. You should be asleep too."</p><p>Spencer sits me down next to him and curls up on the couch with his head in my lap. It never ceases to amaze me that someone so tall could curl themself up so tightly. I run my fingers through his hair to soothe him to sleep as I listen to Derek and Seaver's conversation.</p><p>"Why are you still up?"</p><p>"I've been looking over Ben's file. Turns out he'd been seeing evil imaginary friends ever since he was a child."</p><p>"Ben was always a killer," Derek says. "You think he had schizophrenia?"</p><p>"He may have suffered from some mental disease, but schizophrenia usually presents itself in your late teens or early twenties."</p><p>"Ben did kill those people in that church fire which is part of the homicidal triad."</p><p>"And his mother thought an exorcism would get rid of the demons."</p><p>"The only way to stop a killer is to catch him, Seaver."</p><p>"You know, I always viewed serial killers as monsters. But Ben's remorse seemed real. And that's why I can't sleep. I-I can't get him out of my mind. Does it ever go away?"</p><p>"Luckily it does," Derek says after looking over at Spencer sleeping. "Try to get some rest."</p><p>Once we touch down in D.C. Spencer drives us home. I slip out of my clothes and into his CalTech sweatshirt. I had taken to wearing it to bed most nights, just because it smelled like him. When I washed it, I just sprayed more of his cologne on it afterwards. I don't know why it was so comforting to me, but I just loved how soft and well worn it was. Spencer had given it to me once we moved in together and he caught me sniffing it one day when I thought he was still gone. But he didn't think it was weird, he actually found it cute.</p><p>One day when we don't have a case Hotch tells us that we have to talk about how we're dealing with Emily's death. All of us, no exceptions; Spencer agrees only if we can talk to Hotch together. He agrees and has us sign something that says we agreed to talk together, and Spencer slips his hand in mine automatically. I brush my thumb over the back of his hand softly and he squeezes my hand.</p><p>"The last time I was on a couch like this was when my father left. They all thought I needed to talk, but developmentally I wasn't guided by conscience. I could only reveal what my mother and teachers told me was acceptable."

"You told them exactly what you know they wanted to hear. You don't have to do that here."

"It's just unfair that she's gone. It's like if we can't keep each other safe, then why are we even doing any of this?" Spencer whispers, swallowing hard. I lean my head on his shoulder. "It's... sometimes I think maybe- maybe Gideon was right, you know, maybe... maybe it's just not worth it."

"Oh Spencer... of course it's worth it. Do you know how many lives this team has saved? I know you know the exact number, but it would take us twice as long to solve cases if it wasn't for you. We wouldn't save nearly as many people if your beautiful, wonderful, extraordinary mind wasn't a part of this team. You're a hero, Spencer Reid. To this team, to the people we save, and especially to me."

Spencer pulls me into his arms and buries his face in my shoulder with a soft sob. We sit in silence for a while before I talk about how I'm dealing with losing Emily. After Spencer had dried his tears and composed himself enough to leave, Hotch tells us to go straight to the round table room because we have a case. Hotch turned on the tv and a news story was playing about a shooting in a gun store. It appeared to be completely random. The only thing stolen was a .38 revolver.</p><p>"A deadly chain of events to report to you today. Approximately forty-five minutes ago, four people were shot to death in a gun shop on West Waters Street. Tampa P.D are calling this mass murder unprecedented."</p><p>"A woman went in there and just shot up the place?" Seaver asks as Hotch turns the news report off.</p><p>"Yeah, witnesses heard gunshots, saw a woman leaving the store," Penelope says.</p><p>"Is there enough for a sketch?" Derek asks.</p><p>"Family-owned business. No cameras," Hotch says.</p><p>"The only thing of value witnesses said was that she seemed really calm," Penelope adds.</p><p>"Like an office or school shooter," I say.</p><p>"Did she work there?" Rossi asks.</p><p>"No, local police have already ruled that out."</p><p>"Then she must have known one of the victims. I doubt this was random," Seaver says.</p><p>"You know, Klebold and Harris documented their hatred of the athletes at Columbine, but on the day, they targeted the cafeteria instead of the gymnasium because they were only interested in obtaining the highest possible body count," Spencer says.</p><p>"These offenders usually hole up in one location and eventually commit suicide," Rossi says. "Either by their own hand or in a shootout with police"</p><p>"But this woman took off before the cops arrived," Derek replies.</p><p>"She's probably not finished."</p><p>Hotch tells us to grab our go bags and pertinent files and meet on the jet twenty minutes later. I sit in the window seat and Spencer sits next to me. I can tell he's still upset after talking about losing Emily so I rest my hand on his thigh. I smile softly as his larger hand covers mine a moment later as he reads out loud from his file about the victims. I follow along on my laptop, ready to jump in if needed.</p><p>"Larry Connors, born and raised in Tampa. He's owned the gun store for sixteen years."</p><p>"Johnson, what did you find out about victimology?"</p><p>"They're all locals with similar backgrounds. Blue collar jobs, they're all divorced, and they've all got tempers. Most of them have misdemeanor bar fights on their record."</p><p>"Testosterone-filled victims, but somehow she still gets the drop on all of them," Derek says.</p><p>"Men like this may not view her as a threat because she's a woman."</p><p>"Who's likely in the middle of a psychotic break," my boyfriend says. </p><p>"We should check with psych wards in the area for recent releases," Hotch says.</p><p>"And run incident reports on women who've been asked to leave businesses due to angry outbursts," Rossi says.</p><p>"How far do we wanna go back? A year?" Seaver asks.</p><p>"No, more than that. No incident is too small. She's probably been boiling for a while."</p><p>"Unless she's in serious denial, then she's been burying her feelings, which would have just made her worse and worse," Spencer says.</p><p>"The question is, why did she chose today?" Hotch asks.</p><p>Once we touch down in Tampa, we split up into two groups. Spencer, Derek, Seaver and I go to the station. Hotch and Rossi go to the gun store to talk to the sergeant. I read through the file again and start a more thorough background check on the four victims. I want to see if they had anything in common other than their anger issues. Spencer puts the data he already knows into his comfort zone algorithm. About fifteen to twenty minutes later Hotch call us on their way back to the station.</p><p>"This woman had access to ammo for a .38, but not a gun."</p><p>"She most likely lives with someone who's into guns but doesn't allow her access," Spencer says.</p><p>"Usually locking weapons is a way to protect children, but to keep a key from her is a controlling and domineering act," Derek adds. </p><p>"She could be in an abusive relationship and today's the day she had enough," Rossi says.</p><p>"She stole the gun at nine this morning," I say. "If she needed it to go after somebody, why hasn't she done it yet?"</p><p>"Maybe she has them hostage right now and she's working up the courage to end it all," my boyfriend replies.</p><p>"Or maybe her target knows her personally and isn't letting her get close enough for a kill," Hotch says.</p><p>"And she's setting a trap and waiting," Rossi continues.</p><p>After a while Spencer dials Garcia's number and puts it on speaker so he can move around and talk at the same time. I watch him work as I listen to what Garcia has to say. He's always talked with his hands, and I find it completely adorable and mesmerizing at the same time. I type code into my laptop as he gives us more search parameters to try and figure out who this woman is.</p><p>"Garcia, based on victimology, the unsub's husband or boyfriend most likely owns a .38. We need you and Nyssa to search for white males, ages 35-50, who have registered that model."</p><p>"We think he might be law enforcement or military," I say as I type. </p><p>"It's possible the unsub was in an abusive relationship that contributed to her breakdown, Garcia," Derek adds. "So look for crossover with reports of domestic abuse."</p><p>"This is tricky," Penelope says. "Do you have anything else to narrow it down?"</p><p>"Why?" Seaver asks.</p><p>"Because Florida's a stand-your-ground state," I answer for her.</p><p>"Castle doctrine based on English common law that allows homeowners to use deadly force to protect their land," Spencer says.</p><p>"Yeah, it's a highfalutin way of saying that the gun laws are lax at best. After the 2008 elections, the Floridians were nervous about losing their Second Amendment rights, and gun sales shot through the roof, pun intended," Penelope said.</p><p>"How many of those men fit that profile in Tampa?" Derek says.</p><p>"As it stands right now-"</p><p>"Six hundred and thirty-eight," I finish. "And climbing."</p><p>"There's been another shooting," Spencer says as he checks his text messages.</p><p>No more than twenty minutes after the first text, he gets another one at the same time that the police station erupts into chaos. It turns out that the unsub had shot a cop at a police checkpoint in broad daylight. Ten minutes later, she shoots two EMTs in a park. The park she went to was in the opposite direction of I-275. She had turned around at the checkpoint and went back, meaning she was on a mission. Since there's been three shootings in three separate locations, Spencer has enough information for the geographical profile. Once Rossi and Hotch come back he presents it to everyone at the same time. I listen intently, this is one of my favorite parts of cases.</p><p>"Her emotional turmoil appears to be manifesting in the geographical pattern of her spree."</p><p>"Meaning?" the chief asks.</p><p>"There's a reason she hasn't left," Hotch says. </p><p>"Her first was the gun store in West Tampa, then the security guard in Ybor City, " Spencer says. "Then the officer at the checkpoint in Riverside Heights, then finally the EMTs in Oakford Park."</p><p>"She's like a bouncing ball," Seaver says.</p><p>"There's no logic. She circled back after getting through a roadblock," Derek says. "She's driven purely by emotion."</p><p>"She doesn't care about self-preservation or escape. It's like she has nothing to live for," Rossi says.</p><p>"She may have suffered a loss herself, and she blames someone for it."</p><p>Finally we're ready to deliver the profile, and we gather everyone in the main room of the station. I'm standing next to Spencer as usual, putting myself between him and Seaver when I see her flirting. Spencer wraps an arm around my shoulders for a minute before the rest of the Tampa police force slowly trickles in. I blush softly when I realize he noticed my jealousy while Rossi begins delivering the profile.</p><p>"We're looking for a white female between the ages of thirty and forty, driving a teal green station wagon. But the only thing that matters is her behavior."</p><p>"Which is random. She's all over the place," the chief says. "She could have escaped through that roadblock, but she circled back instead."</p><p>"This tells us she's got a score to settle. Here. Today."</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>"When emotional decisions drive an unsub, it's usually connected to an incredible loss, the idea that there's nothing to live for," Derek answers his question.</p><p>"We believe that this woman's been through the devastating loss of a child," Hotch continues. </p><p>"She woke up this morning, loaded up with bullets and stole a gun. That is not a typical Wednesday. Today means something to her."</p><p>"She's been lashing out at the hero, and we believe that's because she feels deeply betrayed by one who let her down."</p><p>"The fact that her anger seems to be focused on first responders instead of hospital personnel or doctors indicates that her child probably didn't die of natural causes," I continue after my boyfriend. "Most likely it was some kind of accident."</p><p>"And if that's so, she believes he should have been saved but wasn't," Rossi says.</p><p>"Rage like this has been built up over time, possibly years. And it's debilitating," Derek adds. "She probably hasn't been a functioning member of society since the loss of her child."</p><p>"This rampage is her final attempt to be heard."</p><p>"What she started... ends today."</p><p>It doesn't take long for a news station to get a hold of the story, and I listen while I'm working in the conference room. The sheriff walks over to Hotch after a few minutes to watch with him. A female reporter is talking about the events of the past few hours.</p><p>"Police say this dangerous suspect has left a trail of blood behind her. After wounding an officer at a roadblock, she circled back and fired at two paramedics. Luckily she missed, keeping her body count at five. A source inside the Tampa P.D. told us FBI profilers have been brought in..."</p><p>Hotch pokes his head in the conference room and tells us he's got a plan. We should make a statement to the media talking directly to the unsub, because she feels ignored and her violence will keep escalating until she doesn't anymore. It doesn't take long for a crew from WMVZ 4 to show up at the precinct. Hotch had an hour to prepare a statement before they arrived and then they turned the cameras on.</p><p>"This is Aaron Hotchner with the FBI. Our team has come from Quantico, Virginia, because we want to talk to you. We know that you have a personal message that you need to share with the world. All we ask is that you stop hurting people, because we are listening. We know you've been hurt, and you've suffered a terrible loss, and we want to talk to you about it. We want to know how we can help. We've taken the first step. Now it's up to you. You can contact us at 1-800-555-0140. Again, that number is..."</p><p>"Aren't we gonna get flooded by people calling that number?" Seaver asks Penelope on the phone.</p><p>"Nyssa and I are hawk-eyeing the cell towers in her comfort zone, if anyone calls from there, we will know first and fast," she answers.</p><p>While I'm running the program on the cell towers, I curl up on Spencer's lap to nap for a while. He shakes me awake but I stay on his lap even though the sheriff is in the room. He had just come in to give us an update on the hotline and the APB on the station wagon.</p><p>"No leads on the hotline and no sign of her vehicle."</p><p>"This woman obviously has a plan," Rossi says. "The only clear decision she made this morning was walking into that gun store."</p><p>"There are eight of them in her comfort zone. I mean, why chose that one?"</p><p>"Convenience," I answer him sleepily. "Maybe it's closest to where she lives."</p><p>"If we're saying this morning is when she was most clear-headed, then it was a conscious decision to walk into that particular store," Derek says.</p><p>"Guys Penelope and I just got the search results back and it's not necessarily great," I say as I put my phone on speaker.</p><p>"I have hundreds of teal wagons," Penelope says. "None of the registrations match the physical description of our unsub."</p><p>"What about the gun store?" Derek asks.</p><p>"Mm. And then there's that. I searched the entire history of Larry's gun shop. Nothing of significance has ever happened there aside from this morning's masacre," I say after I take a drink of my coffee. "And on top of that, you know those 600-plus registered .38 owners? They bought them all over the city, so we're pretty much screwed unless you can think of some other kind of connection."</p><p>"Then the date only means something to her," Seaver says.</p><p>"Garcia, we profiled that it was a major loss. Can you guys run accident reports. Look for young victims."</p><p>"She seems to be going after heros," Spencer adds.</p><p>"Okay, you guys, I'm doing that now, but this will take forever. Tampa's got almost half a million people. Everybody's got a story, how are we even supposed to- oh."</p><p>"Oh?" Seaver says.</p><p>"My super skills just squelched my pessimism. I have a couple of accidents here that happened in the last few years on or around today's date. Please hold while I deduce."</p><p>"This looks promising. Sorry to steal your thunder, Penny G," I say. "Okay, there was a high-speed traffic chase in West Tampa last year. A policeman was killed."</p><p>"Who were they chasing?" Derek asks us.</p><p>"Uh, Hanley Waters," Penelope says.</p><p>"Maybe he's the target?"</p><p>"No. He's in jail. He started a whole mess because he decided to do an armed robbery at a liquor store and then have a high-speed car chase with the cops," I say. "Oh, there's video. It's 365 days ago to the dot. I'm sending it to your tablets. Observe and prepare yourself."

"Who is it that got hit?"

"Tampa mom Shelly Chamberlain. She was unhurt. Her six-year-old Damion died."

"That's her," I say.

"Oh, and today is Damion's birthday," Penelope adds.

"Your son enters and leaves your life on the same date," Rossi says. "That's one hell of a stressor."

"It explains why her spree started today. All the good and bad memories are hitting her at once," Derek says.

"And to add salt to it all, the fallen policeman was the only one who got any attention," I say. "Damion was like a footnote."

"If Shelly Chamberlain is our unsub and the man who caused this is in jail, then who's her target?" Spencer asks.

"Garcia, what's Shelly's marital status?" Hotch asks.

"Don Chamberlain, city firefighter. He filed for divorce three months ago."

"A local hero, like some of the others she shot," Rossi says.

"But the pain of losing a child destroyed the marriage," I add sadly.

"He could be the next target of her rage, the man who didn't bear witness to her grief," Derek says.

"Morgan, you find him. Dave and I will go to Shelly's house."

Derek takes me, Spencer, Seaver and a SWAT team with him to Don's house. When we get there we see Shelly's car parked on the street, but the house is empty and Don's car is gone. Spencer is the first to speak up after a few minutes.

"Shelly's car is still here."

"And Don is gone. Which means she beat us here. She moved him in his car," I add. "But why didn't she just kill him? She didn't travel with any of her other victims."

"He must play some part in the fantasy of her rage. She wants to punish him for something."

We search the house for any sign of Damion or any clue to where Shelly may have gone. Derek and Seaver search together while Spencer and I search together. Spencer notices something was paused on the tv and presses play as he calls them over to us.

"There's not a single reminder of Damion anywhere in this house," Derek said.

"Because Don had accepted it?" Seaver asks.

"It's only been a year. What are the chances he's done grieving?"

"Maybe that's why she's mad at him and wants him to suffer."

"Hey guys, look at this. Don edited it together and put music to it. This is how he grieved."

"Yeah, but she wouldn't know that," Derek says. "She might force him to grieve the same way she does."

"Where? Their son's grave?" Seaver asks.

"Looks like they celebrated their son's third, fourth and fifth birthday at Sir Burger," I say as I pick up a box next to the tv.

"Her day is coming to an end, and today's an anniversary," Derek says. "That's gotta be where she's going."

Luckily everyone on the force knows Sir Burger, and we don't have to call Penelope for the address. But before we head out we hear that Shelly has Don and some other people hostage. So we speed to the restaurant and get ready to take her down one way or another.

"How many people we got in there?" Derek asks as we step out of the SUV.

"Not sure, five or six. Manager got some out. I'm calling in SWAT," the sergeant says.

"Don't do that. If she feels pressured, she might snap," Spencer says.

"She hasn't done that already? If I get the shot, I'm taking it."

"I'd like to try to talk to her," Hotch says.

"It's too late for that. She's got hostages."

"She's probably not aware of them," Rossi counters.

"Well, I am. It's my job to protect them."

"You don't have line of sight, and a sniper round could pass through her and into somebody else," Hotch says as he calls the restaurant to speak to one of the employees. "This is Aaron Hotchner with the FBI. Who is this?"

"This is Bill. I'm the manager."

"Bill, is anyone hurt?"

"No."

"Can you see the woman with the gun?"

"Yes."

"Can you get the phone to her?"

"No, I can't go back over there. She's lost it. I don't know what she's gonna do. I-I'm sorry."

"Okay. Stay where you are. We'll get you out soon," Hotch hangs up his cell. "He can't get the phone to her. I'm gonna go in."

"You sure about this?" Rossi asks.

"She hasn't hurt anyone. This is about her family and her grief."

"If she's at the end of her break and nothing else matters, she could do anything, Hotch."

"I'll keep my mike open," he says as he walks toward the restaurant. Minutes later we hear him talking to her. 

"Shelly. My name is Aaron Hotchner, I'm with the FBI, and I just want to tell you how sorry I am for what happened. I know he was a happy and confident little boy. I have a picture of him, standing next to you. You're holding his hand and he's smiling. He's not... hiding behind you like some children do. It tells me that you encouraged him, and you gave him a lot of confidence. I know, that's why I want you to have it back. You turning seven today, Sam? That's not much older than Damion. I know you don't want to scare Sam. So they're gonna leave now. Bill will you show them out please? Don, I found this picture of you and Damion, and it's clear who his hero was. I know you blame yourself, and you shouldn't. And, Shelly, all the hurt that you might inflict on people is not gonna bring him back. Believe me, everyone who tried to save him that day isn't gonna forget. It's the day they failed. They'll ask themselves what they could have done. Could they have gotten here sooner? They'll heal, but it's gonna take time. They'll move on but they won't forget. Shelly, you have to stop blaming yourself. Shelly, you have to stop blaming yourself. That's your regret. It's not what he remembers. Look, look how happy he was. Losing him was not your fault. He was taken from you, and that's not fair. But while he was here, while you were lucky enough to have him, he was happy. That's how he lived, and that's how he left."

Moments later Hotch comes out with Shelly in cuffs and it's over. We drive to the airport and board the jet back home. I curl up on Spencer's lap to sleep while he reads. I don't pay attention to what he's reading this time. I don't even wake up until we're in his Prius on the way back to our apartment. I look over at him and admire how beautiful his face is when the streetlights shine on it. When we finally unlock the door to the apartment and walk in, we get ready for bed and Spencer pulls me onto the mattress into his arms. I think he's going to fall asleep shortly after, but he doesn't. I realize why when I hear him crying softly, and I wrap my arms around his neck. I hold him until he finally cries himself to sleep before I allow myself to fall asleep too. My sleep is blissfully peaceful for once.</p>
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